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Et tu, Jong-un?

June 18, 2009

As if testing satellites long range missilies, detonating atomic weapons, and closing down joint industrial sites wasn’t enough to rankle the rest of the world, North Korea’s favorite dictatorial family has finally laid the groundworks for the kind of treachery-wrought family drama we always knew it would be capable of producing:

Close aides of Kim Jong-un, the 26-year-old third son and heir apparent of North Korean leader Kim Jong-il, last week attempted to assassinate the leader’s first son Jong-nam, KBS reported Monday citing Chinese government sources. 

Aides to Kim Jong-un planned to assassinate Jong-nam, who lives in Macau, after first eliminating his close aides in North Korea. The sources said, “It seems they tried to assassinate Kim Jong-nam without telling Kim Jong-il.” 

The plan was foiled when the Chinese government found out about it early last week. “The Chinese government warned North Korea to stop the assassination attempt, and sent intelligence and military officers to Macau and spirited Kim Jong-nam to a safe place,” the sources said.

from Chosun Ilbo

I can just imagine how that conversation went over at the dinner table.

Now, son, what did I tell you about assassinating your eldest brother in order to consolidate your power base after being freshly minted as the successor to the world’s most reclusive state? But Daaaad!  But nothing, no Jean Claude Van Damme for a week. And I mean it, mister!

On the bright side, the Kim family reunion just got a bit more interesting than the old rivarly over which of Dear Leader’s concubines makes the tastiest ddeokbokki.

On the not-so-bright side, Jong-un doesn’t seem to be the most stable guy to ever inherit a nuclear arsenal.  Then again, even Nixon got through most of the 70s without flying off the handle and nuking anybody.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. Jesse W permalink
    June 19, 2009 8:32 pm

    Just as long as long as Kim Jong-Un’s nefarious agents do not assassinate Eric Clapton in a bid to throw middle brother Kim Jong-Chul into a black pit of despair, everything will be okay.

    • June 20, 2009 6:09 am

      However, if Kim Jong-Nam wants to assassinate Jean Claude Van Damme in retaliation, I wouldn’t object.

  2. Kevin permalink
    June 20, 2009 1:55 am

    I liked the Nixon comment. But it seems he may have come a lot closer to the nuclear option than people actually realize.

    • June 20, 2009 6:48 am

      Dude has a spot-on Nixon impersonation.

      Perhaps Watergate was a failed gambit to fool the American people into thinking he was a paranoid, conspiratorial, bitter authoritarian so that they’d look the other way as he took us off the gold standard, created the EPA, and implemented the Philadelphia Plan? Or were those things to convince us he wasn’t a paranoid, conspiratorial, bitter authoritarian? That’s Tricky Dick for ya’.

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